Daniel Hill discusses techniques for addressing anxiety using EFT tapping and NLP, emphasizing the importance of the unconscious mind and positive visualization.
Highlights:
🔄 Utilizing EFT tapping and NLP to address anxiety involves delving into the unconscious mind to release emotional baggage and traumas, promoting healing and growth.
💠Visualization plays a crucial role in reprogramming the mind for success, helping individuals shift their focus from anxiety to positive outcomes.
🌱 Taking small, manageable steps towards desired goals can lead to significant progress and help overcome resistance to change.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Hey guys, it's Dr. Justin Marchegiani. Welcome to the Beyond Wellness Radio podcast. Feel free and head over to justinhealth. com. We have all of our podcast transcriptions there, as well as video series on different health topics ranging from thyroid to hormones, ketogenic diets, and gluten. While you're there, you can also schedule a consult with myself, Dr.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: J, and or our colleagues and staff to help dive into any pressing health issues you really want to get to the root cause on. Again, if you enjoy the podcast, feel free and share the information with friends or family. Dr. Justin Marchegiani And we are live with Daniel Hill. It's Dr. J here in the house of Beyond Wellness Radio.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Daniel's on the podcast today. We're going to be talking about different techniques to address anxiety using EFT, tapping, NLP, and a whole bunch more. So excited to have Daniel on the podcast. Daniel, how you doing?
Daniel Hill: Dr. Daniel Hill I'm all good, Dr. J. How are you? Dr.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Justin Marchegiani Hey, very good. Very good.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And by the way, if anyone's listening, we're putting links for Daniel's website. As well as if you want to schedule a consult with him, there's going to be a link right down below where you guys can click and schedule worldwide on that. Awesome. All right, Daniel. So let's dive in. I mean, you see patients all over the world with lots of anxiety issues, mental health issues, and your approach is different than the conventional talk therapy or, you know, medically try to numb out what the issue is, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: You're trying to get to the root underlying issue from a psychological standpoint. Someone walks into your office or. Jumps on your, your, your call with you, Skype and chats with you. What's the first thing you're trying to do or assess when someone has a goal of trying to address some chronic anxiety issues?
Daniel Hill: So we are gauging it. First of all, we're assessing how bad it is. Some people will come with quite chronic issues. Other people will think it's quite chronic, but actually when you use unconscious tools on the unconscious mind at an unconscious level. Things begin to shift because a lot of the issues that we have, we might think that it's going round and round and round in our head, but it's not really conscious.
Daniel Hill: And so the difference between what I do and what conventional people do. in treating people treating issues that are with just natural talking therapy, which is just consciously talking about things, but getting deep into the unconscious, why is the unconscious behaving badly? Why is it giving us these bad thoughts and feelings?
Daniel Hill: And when we get to that level at the deep unconscious place, you can create change.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: When your body. When you're let's say you are walking by a forest and someone had maybe been attacked by a bear in that area, it's natural that your nervous system remembers that there's a limbic response that's deep in the subconscious.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And when you start walking by there, you're going to feel maybe a little bit of anxiety, even though that situation may be rare, maybe a one in a million, just kind of like a shark attack thing. But your limbic system and your nervous system are hardwired ready to go. And so how do you find the balance of, Hey, my nervous system should be okay.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Okay. On alert, right? Because we don't want that issue to happen again, but at the same time, it's probably the odds of that happening are pretty low. How do we strike the balance and get our nervous system to fire off appropriately versus inappropriately?
Daniel Hill: So we've got to look at stress and anxiety. So stress is an external force that's put upon us and Anxiety is an internal force.
Daniel Hill: So it's, it's something that's coming from our mind. You know, I always find it amazing where some people will, you know, go rock climbing, like without a safety rope. You know, I, I've been working on my mind for years. I wouldn't do that. You know, it's amazing what, what you can do. You'll find one person is afraid of one phobia and then not another, or I even found out.
Daniel Hill: Lewis Hamilton, the Formula One driver has a phobia of onions. I mean, he'll drive at 200 mile an hour. You know, it's really dangerous what he does, but he's afraid of onions. That's making sense. So you, you've got to get to the difference between why is somebody struggling? So I treat I treat a client, not a disease.
Daniel Hill: I just, what's going on. You have to become a detective. What's going on here? We've got to solve the murder. We've got to solve the problem. So, what's going on in somebody? And then we use a variety of techniques in order to be able to make that better.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And obviously if someone's diet's crummy, or they're not sleeping or they're just avoiding a lot of things, obligations in life that they should be doing, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: There's going to be physical, chemical, emotional stressors that should be addressed. That anxiety is a natural, provocation. It's a natural response. We're talking about people. They're trying to live their life. They're doing well with their diet. Maybe they're, they're doing some functional medicine support.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Maybe they're getting to sleep on time. They're hydrating. They're avoiding a lot of processed food, but there's still a little bit of anxiety there. So we, we work on the chemical stress, maybe some of the physical stress, but then we have this emotional stress, right? And how much of the stress is it happening in the conscious brain?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And yeah. Thoughts that are consciously being thought of or how much is it unconsciously there?
Daniel Hill: It's a good question. I think it's been said that the unconscious perhaps runs us as much as 91 92 93%. I would say it could even be as high as 99 99. 9999. I really work a lot with the unconscious. It's an amazing thing.
Daniel Hill: We're completely programmed without even realizing it. We have so many different things deeply embedded inside of us that just happen all by itself and when we get stressed or when we're anxious you can still affect things using unconscious tools even just thinking about it from an NLP perspective that's neuro linguistic programming you may have heard of that before it's it's helping you to get your mind work for you rather than have your mind use you.
Daniel Hill: You're looking at designing the life that you wish to experience using your brain when we're doing stress and anxiety, our brain is using us. It's, it's warning us. It's saying there's, we can't live like this. This is really bad. We're, we're, we're at threat right now. And it's good because there's people who don't have who had brain damage and they lose the ability to do fear.
Daniel Hill: You'd think, wow, they must be, must have an amazing lives because they get a massively move forward in life. No, they struggle. I've seen documentaries on it.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Oh, wow. That's fascinating. Okay.
Daniel Hill: We need to have a warning they've got no warning. They've got nothing to, to prevent them from doing things that we would, you and I, and the rest of the world would go I'm not so sure about taking that action.
Daniel Hill: So it's. It's useful, but when we're moving forward, it's not that we don't ever not have stress and anxiety come into our lives, but it's, it's how we respond to that. And a lot of the time it's asking better questions of yourself. So if you're struggling. It doesn't matter whether it's anxiety or stress or whatever the issue is.
Daniel Hill: Okay, so this is your problem. This is your challenge, but what is it that you would like to experience instead? And then you've got to focus on that outcome and ask yourself questions in order to move towards it. So there's a away from goals and towards goals and away from goal is I need to get away from the stress and anxiety and there's towards goals, which are.
Daniel Hill: Anything that you wish to experience, peace, abundance, happiness, health, well being, well, how can we move towards those? And if you use open ended questions, what, when, where, who, how, and then the, the very thing that you wish to experience, let's say health, I often tell clients imagine the, the very thing that you would like to be experiencing, can you make that as big as like the Hollywood sign?
Daniel Hill: You know, the Hollywood sign, which is. White and huge. Well, make that health turn the Hollywood signs. It doesn't say Hollywood anymore. It says health. Okay. Can you see that? Close your eyes, look at that in your mind and ask yourself questions that will help you to move towards that. Now you might have to do this quite a number of times because the brain is wired in a certain way where it will just stay with the unfamiliar with the familiar.
Daniel Hill: So if you're not very well and you're struggling with health, then you Health is something that you are then moving towards. Peace is something that you're moving towards if you're struggling with anxiety and stress. So you've got to be moving towards the very thing that is pulling you, and then you are pulled towards that thing.
Daniel Hill: Dr. Justin
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Marchegiani Makes sense. I know you have a couple of tools in your tool belt that work profoundly well. We can kind of go into just a general summary, but you have EFT, which is essentially tapping on various meridian points to release subconscious stored energy. The theory is that a lot of these traumas or these, let's just call them neurological kind of pathways where that memory, that action potential runs, that we can disrupt that with tapping on some of these meridian points and helping to allow that energy to flow better.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Some of that is also NLP, which is, you are educated by Dr. Bandler. Bandler is phenomenal because he's always said, how do high performers Think what are the pictures in their brain when they perform optimally? Because where we think in pictures, not words, and what kind of pictures can we put in our brain to do pattern interrupts?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: When we start having stinking thinking, I know Bandler will do the stop sign or he'll, he'll really change the thinking. The pictures in the brain and you know, for pattern interrupts as well as good things of what you want to create. A lot of times you said people are more focused on the pictures of what they don't want than what it is they want and they don't have good tools to do pattern interrupts.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: So I wanted to just allow you just to give a general summary of each of those tools and then maybe pretend like I'm a patient with this issue workup.
Daniel Hill: Okay. So first port of call, I often do tapping when. People first come to see me, I think a lot of people in life are heavily traumatized without even realizing it.
Daniel Hill: So they're carrying a lot of emotional baggage. So it's stuff that they've been through might be relationship breakups. It might be stuff from childhood. It might be. Little traumas. It might be big traumas. I think people sometimes come to see me and they go, Oh, well, I've had nothing really massively traumatic happened to me.
Daniel Hill: And I'm like, well, that's okay. But it's a lot of people carry just stuff. We don't really release stress. And so something like EFT, which is a tapping technique works like it's a cross between sort of psychotherapy, hypnosis, and acupuncture. If you've never come across it, you can just call it tapping.
Daniel Hill: There's loads of videos out there. It was my first public call when I first came into this and had an almost euphoric experience because I was very toxic. Lots of people are when they come into this work because we're carrying old things and I'll sometimes say to clients write me a piece list.
Daniel Hill: And this, this is a piece list. This is all things that you would like to make peace on in your life. And people will write me lists and they're often like, you know, eights, nines, tens. And. You know, I don't have that going on in my life. I'm sure you don't. So it, but a lot of people will, and that's going to cost you a lot of energy.
Daniel Hill: Then if you're going to get triggered by a car pulling in front of you, you know, you're going to have a almost road rage response because you're, you're just being triggered because you're just carrying so much stuff. So that's that's one of the first things. I also do something called EMIT, which is eye movement integration therapy.
Daniel Hill: So it's very similar to EMDR. So it was born really from NLP, which I'll go into in a second. But I've talked about this before. So it's basically. Memory we, if you go into your memory, like if I was to say, what was I doing last night, I'd go up here to sort of look for it. If I was going to create something and I was really afraid of it, like, Oh my God, I don't want that to happen.
Daniel Hill: You're going to be looking up here. So as we move eyes and we talk at the same time in certain ways, we are able to access all different parts of our unconscious. And we're able to release it. Some people will have deep trauma and they'll go and just do EMDR or EMIT. And again, you're, you're making those tens, nines and eights into three or below.
Daniel Hill: So you're not carrying this enormous emotional weight. NLP is another massive part of what I do. Neuro linguistic programming. It's it's an enormous subject which is. In simple terms, it's helping you to use your mind rather than have your mind use you. So yes, it's the study in the 1970s. It was a studies of exceptional therapists who are all working slightly differently.
Daniel Hill: And then man called Richard Bandler and Oh, I've forgotten the the other co creator will come to me. John Grinder ended up studying these people and they were going. They're all getting results, but they're going about it in different ways and such through researching them. They ended up realizing that there was a breakdown in someone's perception of their reality and a breakdown is a breakthrough so that you are literally decompartmentalizing what's going on in someone and then you're able to.
Daniel Hill: Reform and compact compartmentalized again. So that you have a higher operating software, it's, it's like your computer. If your computer was really lagging, you know, it's because it's running old stuff. It's downloaded cookies and Trojan horses and goodness knows all this kind of stuff. So you could say that.
Daniel Hill: The, the, the EFT, the tapping technique and the the EMIT is giving it a good defrag, it's, it's cleaning it, it's getting rid of all those old programs and the old stuff that's there. And by NLP where we're making the operating software improve, it's basically just helping the whole system to run better again.
Daniel Hill: And so when
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: you, when you talk about, when you interact with someone in their traumas or their anxiety. Do you address the pictures that they're seeing in their in their mind when a lot of these things happen? How much of that are you looking at the pictures and what they're seeing?
Daniel Hill: Aha, well that that's a great indication of how your brain works because not everybody's brain works visually Some people are very kinesthetic, which is the feeling so if you think we've got five, we've got five senses.
Daniel Hill: So visual, auditory, some people extraordinarily auditory, kinesthetic, and then you've got smell and taste and taste. It, it mostly is. I think most people around the world would see things first, but they would talk about it. You know, it's even in people's language. Can't you see what I'm doing for you?
Daniel Hill: Have you not seen the big picture? Just so you're trying to figure out how they're saying to you,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: you're trying to figure out how they're taking in that sensory input. How is it? Absolutely. Most,
Daniel Hill: most human beings are VAK, which is visual auditory kinesthetic,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: but some
Daniel Hill: people are wired very differently.
Daniel Hill: I'm, I'm very kinesthetic. So often I will close my eyes and I can see things and then I'll feel it. The auditor is important, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm probably more VKA. So and then for other people, their sense of smell or the sense of taste, it's like with blind people, how their senses are so much more heightened and sometimes very, very different to how they're reading the world.
Daniel Hill: So, so how does that look? So
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: someone comes in, right? You assess kind of where there are priorities and how they have sensory input, how they take in the outside world in regarding that priority of senses. What does that look like? And then how do you rewrite that program? Rewrite that software. If the software coming in is not serving that person, let's say, what they're hearing is not serving, or let's say the images or what they touch or feel puts them into that fear state, that sympathetic state.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: How do you rewrite that?
Daniel Hill: Well, we're always looking at somebody's map of the world. There's something which NLP talks about, which is the map is not the territory. So your experiences through your whole life, from maybe even being in womb, you were downloading things at an unconscious level then to your formative years, all the way to an adult.
Daniel Hill: This is how you will. Sensing the world, and this is your model of the world and everybody's model of the world is absolutely unique, completely and utterly unique. So you're looking at going into that world, which is a map, and you're saying, what is it that you wish to do? And they might be going, well, I can't climb that mountain because my map says we don't go there.
Daniel Hill: And then you'd be, well, you'd be looking at why that is. There's always going to be a a limitation. So the unconscious is always stuck in what it knows. It doesn't really like when we get to adult age, it doesn't really like change. So it, it. We're all often running old operating software based on childhood because that's where we learn the most and your brain is expanding and growing it's been said that we don't develop consciousness i think it's still about the age of twelve full fully conscious to about the age of twelve thirteen something like that what the hell does that mean so you're completely unconscious up to about the age yeah kind of you're a big sponge because you're I've done this for nearly 18 years now.
Daniel Hill: It's always someone's limitation is always based on their belief system. Beliefs are generalizations, distortions and deletions. Now we can, we can do that positively and we can do it negatively. So when we're moving towards peace, resourcefulness, abundance relaxation. Great relationships, all these things, it's it's asking yourself how you can do that.
Daniel Hill: And then when you work with someone like me, we're busting through the unconscious limitation that is blocking you from doing it. Like if the map, you, I can't get to the mountain. I can't get to the mountain. Why, why can't you get to the mountain? Well, the mountains are scary. There's, there's a, there's a lot of swamps there.
Daniel Hill: I can't go through that. And it's just helping people clear the resistance. But if you use your brain enough and there, here's another, there's something else, which is really important. If you use your brain enough in the correct way, you start creating. Positive neuroplasticity so the anxiety and the stress that we are experiencing is is almost you have to learn to begin to not trust that because it's it's it's based on old stuff and if you would like to get to the mountain.
Daniel Hill: Peace or whatever that is that you deeply wish to experience it's going to require part of your. Old map of the world to become different, which is a scary thing, but you have to go through it. It becomes a process. It's a transformational thing, like a caterpillar to a butterfly, which is an interesting analogy as well, because apparently the the caterpillar will resist the the transformational process.
Daniel Hill: Some part of the cells in the caterpillar will actually fight the transformational experience because it's a caterpillar. That's all it knows, but that's his destiny is to become the butterfly. And I. I'm a transformational life coach because I'm always looking at transforming whatever the limitation is and converting that to what it is on the other side the very the opposite of that it's a crude way of saying it but I say, you know, the, the, the crap that we go through is the manure for tomorrow because that becomes whatever we're going through all of these crappy feelings the order that the negative stuff actually when we expose it enough.
Daniel Hill: It can begin to break down like what would happen with excrement and within that, there are vital things. I wouldn't have become who I am if I hadn't have gone through the most horrendous things in my life. It's gifted me, it's gifted me something and it's gifted me a strength. And it's, it's, it's like, You know, the, the butterfly hasn't just become the butterfly.
Daniel Hill: It actually gets to go through something. And interestingly, it goes into a cocoon and it has to fight its way out of the cocoon. And if you make it any easier, guess what? It won't be strong enough in order to survive in life. So there is something. That's inbuilt within us, which is a it's, it's within our nature in order to overcome challenges to become stronger.
Daniel Hill: There's a quote by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and I can't remember the whole quote, but it says the most beautiful people in the world have known struggle, known loss, known defeat, and they have found their way out of the depths. These people have a kindness and a sensitivity. Beautiful people do not just happen.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And that's part of life is all about the contrast, right? Yesterday's lows will bring you to tomorrow's highs and you only appreciate the spring cause you went to the winter, right? So you need that contrast. It's it's important that we look at the contrast that we go through and not be a victim. We have to look at whatever we can take accountability for, take accountability for whatever the lesson is, learn the lesson because life just tends to give you that lesson.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Over and over again in different permeations, and you'll just repeat it and repeat it and repeat it. And it's very
Daniel Hill: easy until you learn to listen
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: and say, learn to listen. Yeah. And it's very easy. If you're the victim, that lesson just comes over and over and over and
Daniel Hill: over.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: So how do you, right? You talk about, you know, the, the crap you went through yesterday is the manure that allows things to grow and expand in your life tomorrow.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: How do you get it? People that you're working with to take accountability for whatever they can sometimes to
Daniel Hill: say that word,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: and there may not be, you know, you may be driving down the street following all the road signs and someone drunk driver hit you. It's, it's hard to be like, yeah, I'm accountable for that, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Because I was doing everything perfect, right? There are truly victims in this world, but at the same standpoint, maybe the accountability is I'm just going to fix my life where I'm at now. That's the accountability is where I'm at now. I'm going to fix it.
Daniel Hill: So it works in this sentence. It may not be your fault that you are like this and you're struggling in this way, but it's most certainly your responsibility to change
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: it, right?
Daniel Hill: And so if you can take that 100 percent responsibility. It's empowering, it's really empowering, because we could all say we're victims, we've all had things happen to us, whether it's from childhood, all the way through our whole lives, we can all, everyone can tell a story, everyone can tell a story of woe, but equally, you can tell a story of triumph, and this is another important thing which I'm going to talk about, which is If you're struggling with anxiety and even depression, whatever the challenge is, how much time do you spend in the outcome that this is no longer a problem anymore?
Daniel Hill: I bet most people would say hardly any at all. If you can. And I'm telling you, you know, your teachers at school probably said, don't date Justin, wake up, don't daydream, don't daydream at the back of the class. I'm telling you to daydream because when you're doing that, you're dropping into states of alpha and theta, which is a kind of hypnotic state.
Daniel Hill: Well, it is a hypnotic state. You know, you're able to change in, in those places when we're talking right now, I'm in the state of beta like Justin is when we're in deep sleep, we're in Delta, but. In between those, you've got alpha and theta. Now, if you spend time imagining that this problem that you've got, this challenge has now been resolved, it's all fixed, spend time doing that.
Daniel Hill: Now use VAK, which is visual. You can maybe close your eyes, or if you're just daydreaming, you can still just daydream away. Visualize that. Being all sorted, it's all taken care of. It's all fine. Do it auditorily. What people saying are people saying to you, that's amazing. You've transformed my goodness.
Daniel Hill: Like, what are you saying to yourself? Really proud of myself. I've really come quite a long way. What are you feeling? Are you feeling like really relaxed now are you feeling sort of joyful and upbeat and you're feeling wow my god i've overcome that what else could i ever come so if you spend as much time in that way it's rather like if you watched an action adventure movie and.
Daniel Hill: Instead of sitting down to watch the whole two hour thing, you just watch the last 10 minutes. What happens in every action adventure movie in the last 10 minutes? What happens? The hero or the hero
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: wins. Yeah, the good guy wins.
Daniel Hill: And they're all good girl. Good girl. Yeah, and they they're probably overcoming their last challenge.
Daniel Hill: In the last 10 minutes and you see them overcame that last challenge and then it's like happy ever after isn't it or sort of at least sort of they're celebrating in the fact that they've won that they've done it okay so if you can spend as much time in the place that this is all being resolved it's all okay you're then coming from that place unconsciously knowing.
Daniel Hill: Because the unconscious is literally responding to stimulus and what you're thinking about. And then you're, you're more resourceful because if you watch that movie, let's say you saw the last 10 minutes, it would ruin a movie of course, but you watch the last 10 minutes and it's all okay. You imagine every time that hero or heroine is going through their challenge, whether it's Lara Croft in Tomb Raider or Liam Neeson in Taken, you know, he's always fighting the baddies.
Daniel Hill: You're gonna be, you're not going to be as. Frightened that the hero or the heroine is gonna come a cropper, you know, they're gonna, they're gonna be killed or something terrible is going to happen because you know, it's all gonna work out if you can do this for yourself. Then you become the hero or heroine of your own reality and then you're literally programming yourself to be a victor, not a victim.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: A hundred percent. And so with the accountability aspect. If people are coming to you and they look like a victim or they're usually people that are coming to you probably are already in a state of accountability because they're reaching out, right? They're making an investment. So I think just the fact that they're already reaching out and making that investment probably puts them more in the accountability camp automatically, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Because they wouldn't be seeking you out, right?
Daniel Hill: Correct.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Okay. So that makes sense. So you kind of self select just through the people that are already overcoming that obstacle to reach you. So now I'm this person, I'm, I'm reaching to you, I'm reaching out, we're chatting. Just give me that. Give me a couple of things that we can do right now, maybe this last five minutes to address this chronic anxiety.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Just walk me through it.
Daniel Hill: Okay. So we would do what the first thing I would do, I would teach them tapping if they don't know already, and we would be tapping through it.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And are we going to just do some of the meridians on the face? I like the double tap. I feel like it's more efficient.
Daniel Hill: Yeah, I do double tapping as well sometimes.
Daniel Hill: So yeah, so okay, if you don't know what this is, just go along with just rate your stress first and foremost. That's what, that's the goal. Rate your stress out of 10, zero being zen like calm, 10 being usually stressed. Sam, 7
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: 10. Would you mind just going over the acupuncture points to tap on?
Daniel Hill: Okay, all right.
Daniel Hill: So, just a brief review
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: on that.
Daniel Hill: All right. So each one is related to different organs in the body. They're all different types of meridians. They're all related to emotions that we are feeling. If we suspend all that and just go into it and just do some tapping, just see how you feel after a couple of rounds.
Daniel Hill: Okay. So rate your stress right now.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: We're going inside of the eyebrow, outside under the eye, under the nose, top of the head,
Daniel Hill: main meridian. All right. First part of the eyebrow. Good job. This is a good one for trauma. First part of the eyebrow we're doing together. We're doing here. Okay. Side of the eye.
Daniel Hill: This one's good for anger, rage, anxiety under the eye. Okay. We're doing top lip and chin point. You can do them together. You can double tap. You can use one. That doesn't really matter. We're doing this. Okay. This is for embarrassment. This is for shame. Then we're doing another anxiety point. This is collarbone.
Daniel Hill: I just use it. Take four fingers. Something like here. If you're doing, you're going to get it around here. It's just below your collarbone. There's my collarbone. It's going all the way down here. There's the collarbone. It's just below it. But if you just tap around here. Yeah.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: If you got three fingers, you're going to hit it.
Daniel Hill: I'm doing four. So yeah, you're going to hit it. Okay. And then the last one here, which is under the arm, ladies, that's your lower bra strap, gentlemen, just imagining where that is. So it's just about here. It's in central line with the nipple, really just, just under, so I'm taking four fingers and Okay. And just, just tapping there that's connected with the spleen fear of the future.
Daniel Hill: Sometimes you can be tapping one point and it will really work and really clear it. Okay. So I'm going to teach you another one as well. So write down, so you've got ring finger, little finger. Okay. So just down there about two centimeters in whatever you can just press in. I put my Hairy hand there.
Daniel Hill: So you can see that. And I'm going to take two fingers. Okay. Taking two fingers. This is another, it's a central meridian. It means it just works on so many things and it's connected with the heart, triple warmer, Sanyal, the nine gamuts. We're tapping that point as well. When we do that, we often doing eye movements as well.
Daniel Hill: So if you just look to the side, you look to the side and the
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: eye movements are getting different parts of the brain going left to right brain. So we're, we're trying to.
Daniel Hill: Memory and future thoughts, future visions. So
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: if this is the neurological pathway that's, that's normally used to firing for anxiety and we create a new path that goes this way, then that's going to start to dissipate a lot of the feelings of anxiety because we're creating a new pathway where those anxiety feelings aren't used to being.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Correct.
Daniel Hill: If you, if correct, if you think about anxiety, it's got nothing to do with the present moment. Present moment is stress. Anxiety is, Oh my God, this might happen. So we're thinking about the future. So if you're going into using the eye points. So you're actually thinking about a future scenario that doesn't exist, but your unconscious is attempting to prevent that from happening.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Now, what should we be thinking about when we do the tapping on here? Like for me, for me, I sometimes when you're in a situation and you're stressful, it's hard to talk about what it is you want. It's easy to just. Talk about this stressful thing. Like, Hey, I'm, I'm, I'm experiencing this stressful situation.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Right. So
Daniel Hill: really, so a really simple one is just think of one word. I think maybe a feeling word. So it might be stress. It might be anxiety, but sometimes just go find another, like find another word. So I'm going to go stress, anxiety, overwhelm.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And you're going to be thinking about maybe the image of that thing.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I don't know, maybe it's My kids are driving me crazy, right? I'm thinking about my kids. I'm thinking about anxiety. I'm thinking about the timeouts. I'm thinking about the tantrums, right? You're, you're, you're thinking about that while you're tapping, right?
Daniel Hill: Yeah.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And you're trying to get that, that emotional level.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Like we talked about maybe a seven out of 10. Trying to bring that down. So we're thinking about the emotions while we tap.
Daniel Hill: If you find that you're not getting as far as you would like, break it down. You're probably very toxic. There's, there's a lot going on and it's like you're thinking more, this little technique is going to solve all of my issues and all the things that I've never made peace on in the whole of my life.
Daniel Hill: So just be specific. So it's a corny way, but they say for results that are terrific, you must be specific. So just go into really basic things. So really specific. So if you are afraid and you're anxious, give me one, give me one thing that you're afraid of might be money worries. For example, it might be a fear of not having enough money.
Daniel Hill: Fear of not having enough money. And you could literally just say that over and over this fear of not having enough money, this fear of having enough money, but then what does that, then what does that mean? If you haven't got enough money, what does that mean? What does that mean?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I'm not going to be, I'm not going
Daniel Hill: to be, I'm going to end up living in my car and you can just keep following it.
Daniel Hill: And you can say this stuff. Oh, I won't be at a mortgage and my wife might leave me. I won't, I'll lose the kids. I want to have access to the kids. It's this snowball thinking. So it's like a one little bit of stress. You pull one little string and the whole
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: sweater unravels, right?
Daniel Hill: Yeah. And we're kind of going into this complete place where we, we can't cope.
Daniel Hill: We're just thinking of this, this future scenario is just, Oh God, it's, it's worst case scenario, homelessness. It's, you know, and often it's linked to. So if I'm homeless and I'm dead, or it go to such a deep place where we become so afraid that something will happen that actually my wife, my, my life won't even be worth living.
Daniel Hill: So it's it's linked to sort of very Neanderthal deep survival instincts.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I like that. So now you start to get that seven out of 10, six out of 10, five out of 10. are being this, we're feeling better. What's the next step? Because a lot of times there may be behavioral patterns that are still poor. For instance, I can be stressed out about the weeds in my yard.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I can now get the weeds pulled. But if you don't put something in place on that empty soil, weeds may grow back. So what is the next step look like?
Daniel Hill: So it's you could say just gauge now, sort of what you were seven out of 10. You now got now a what? Now maybe five, maybe six. I'm a four. I'm feeling good.
Daniel Hill: What is it that you do wish to experience?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: That's a great question. I wish to experience peace, harmony. Now, some of these things may not be dependent upon me though too, right? It may be dependent upon the other person, how they interact or how they act back too.
Daniel Hill: Absolutely. But then get even more specific.
Daniel Hill: So so if so give me an example with that then. So
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I, I wake up, right? And I get my kids a nice breakfast ready and then one of them wants more stuff and more stuff and we got to head out the door and we're already late and they need to get in the car and they're just demanding more and now they're having a little tantrum because they're not getting what they want.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: But I just want to get in the car and go to school and have peace and flow.
Daniel Hill: Peace and flow. Okay. So close your eyes for a second. Okay. Visualize peace and flow. First thing that comes in. First thing that comes in your unconscious. A
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: stream, a stream of water flowing.
Daniel Hill: A stream. And how would a stream deal with this?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It just keeps on going.
Daniel Hill: Keeps on going. Okay. What does that mean?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Keep your cool. Hey, we're going to do this thing. We're going to go from here to here. I don't know what to do if my kid resists though and digs his heels in.
Daniel Hill: Okay. Breathe in. React as the stream reacts.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Just keep on going. But I don't want to yell though.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I don't want to have to yell because I know I will yell.
Daniel Hill: Okay. All right. Okay. So so the, the stream is cool stream is consistent.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It's consistent. Yes.
Daniel Hill: No one. No one turns it on in the morning. No one turns it
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: off. It's always going. It's okay.
Daniel Hill: So there's something with that. I love the stream. I live by Britain's longest river, which is the river sevens, 220 miles long.
Daniel Hill: I love it because I learn from nature. So what is it, what is nature teaching you, what is it, what is it that you can learn, what is it that here's another one it's consistent. So we're doing something there as well in the brain. So give me a color. What color? What's the main color?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Let's do blue.
Daniel Hill: Okay. So we're doing blue. Okay. So you've got blue and is there, okay, you've got a stream, but is there a shape that goes with it as well?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Triangle.
Daniel Hill: Okay. Excellent. So triangle that I love what I love about triangles. There's three points to it. What three points do you really need to know? What do you, what would you need to know, deeply need to know in order to be free of this?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: This too shall pass.
Daniel Hill: This too shall pass. Absolutely. Excellent. This too shall pass. So it's like water off a duck's back in the stream or whatever is there. They still shop us.
Daniel Hill: This man is a superhero. He has two kids. Okay. So they challenge, they're challenging children. All right. Like all children are, we were all children. Once we're going to test boundaries. What else, what other point, what else would you need to know?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: You can do it.
Daniel Hill: You can do it. Okay. You can do it.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Keep your cool.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Don't flip out.
Daniel Hill: Yeah. Okay. All right. But even if you did flip out literally of the raft or whatever, you'd still go downstream, still get back
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: in. You don't beat yourself up over it. You'd say, I'm going to get back in and. I'll just do a little better next time.
Daniel Hill: Huh.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I talked to you the biggest issue of my stress with kids.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It's in parents listening will probably empathize. It's all around time constraints. You have to do this thing, but this thing requires you to do this thing now because we're going to be late and that's going to create more problems. If there's no time constraint, it's like go upstairs, go to timeout.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: We're going to lose this thing. Sit in the corner for 10 minutes, right? But when there's a time constraint, it's like, Oh, I don't have that ability to apply the consequence now. And if the consequence isn't right now, it's not real. It's not real to you, right? Until it's right there.
Daniel Hill: Audience, I do not have all the answers because I don't have kids.
Daniel Hill: I have a lot of clients who've got kids. And one of the biggest stresses in people's lives comes from relationships and children and work. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad parent, but you know, It, I think it's the hardest job in the world. I am an uncle and I've ever crazy and uncle, and I can go in for a very short period of time and then go, how do these people cope like in this way?
Daniel Hill: So but it's, it's, it's being resourceful. That's the thing being as resourceful as possible. So you, if what's, what's one of the sayings from Einstein, you know, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what voice you've always got. So what does that mean? It means be flexible. Tony Robbins is ultimate four step formula, which is clearly decide your outcome, take action, and then number three, notice if you're getting nearer, and if you're not getting any nearer, and you, it's the same thing over and over, change your approach.
Daniel Hill: Yeah,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: like for me, yeah, for me, like I look at my situation, like I yelled at my kids this morning, right? Because one of them did not want to get out in the car and. Wanted apples and almond butter and all these things while we were already five minutes late and I'm like, Oh, you've been up for an hour. You should have already gotten that an hour ago.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: We're going to have to miss that today. I want that. Right. It's like, okay, well, I think I would have handled it differently. It's been like, get out to the car fast and maybe I can bring it out to you, but let's see how fast you can get out there. I would have, I would have used that to create better behavior to get, get them where I wanted to go.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I want to use more leverage instead of just saying no, no. I want to just use that as a little carrot.
Daniel Hill: It's, it's all that you can do. Just keep learning. It's, we are in an endless school. I learn constantly. Can you repeat those four things
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: again that Robin said? Can you repeat that? It's very
Daniel Hill: American. I'm British.
Daniel Hill: So
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I remember when I
Daniel Hill: got this, the ultimate four step success formula. Okay. Yeah. Number one, okay? Number one, clearly decide your outcome. When we're using, that's, that's clear. Clear means vision. So in my situation, I want my kids to get
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: their butts in the car when they're done their breakfast and not drag their feet.
Daniel Hill: Right. So, but part of you is dragging the feet, so you've still got that image. So go to the complete outcome of seeing it, feeling it and hearing it as done in the way that you would wish for it to be done. Briefly. Just, just imagine it done. Imagine it done. Imagine it done. Imagine it done. Imagine it done.
Daniel Hill: Imagine it done. Imagine it done. Imagine it done. Imagine it done.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: My kids finished their sausage and eggs. They put their plates in the sink, they wash their hands, they grab their bag, and they go right to the car. That's my vision. Put their shoes on, right to the car.
Daniel Hill: What's the auditory like?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Oh, it's just smooth.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: There's no fighting. There's no bickering. Yes, dad.
Daniel Hill: How does it feel?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It's smooth. I'm finishing up washing dishes. I may be making my little collagen coffee, getting it in a little to go mug so I can sniff it on the way to school.
Daniel Hill: So you can see it, you can feel it, you can hear it. That's your outcome.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It's just smooth.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: It's smooth. Yes, Dad.
Daniel Hill: Got
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: it.
Daniel Hill: Excellent. So now you need to take action, Dr. J. You need to take action. And you've been taking action because that has been your outcome. But it doesn't always happen because you've got these little human beings that just go, No! Don't wanna do it! No! Wanna do this instead! No!
Daniel Hill: No! No!
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Okay, so step one, step one, what I want, right? Step two. Wish.
Daniel Hill: I like the word wish, that comes from NLP. Why do I use the word wish so much? Been using it eight years. Positive association. Magical. Magical wish. Wish. Okay, so use the word wish. So it's something I got rid of the word wish. Want. Wish.
Daniel Hill: This is what you wish. Got it. Take action. What's the action? Taking action. Yeah. Some of the action works. Number three, you know that some of the action works. So notice it's all like step three is notice. Notice. So notice what's working.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: How's the outcome? Is it working? Are you happy with the result? No, I'm going to, I'm going to provide some bits
Daniel Hill: are going to be good, but
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: probably not all.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I'm going to provide more of a carrot to get my kids. Okay. Instead of digging in and creating a fight there, I'm going to say, get in that car and let's see if I can get you some apples based on how fast you go. Okay. That, that's the new, that's the new behavior. Instead of me getting mad and saying, get to the car and yell, I'm going to now create a little bit of a carrot to motivate them to get to the car.
Daniel Hill: It's being as flexible as possible. If you think about the tree in the winter, the tree in the winter, the one that's going to survive the winter is the one that's most flexible. If it's a lot of the storms and the snow on top and everything else, it's being as flexible. Those that are most flexible will survive and those that are most flexible will achieve their outcomes.
Daniel Hill: Because then you're saying to yourself, I don't care what it takes, this is my outcome. And then that's where it can become really, you know, a lot of fun because you, you can be as crazy as you like, you know, it's about getting your outcome. What, what do you wish to experience?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Okay. I'm gonna let you, I'm gonna let you keep on talking.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I have to use the restroom. I can still hear you though. I'll be right back.
Daniel Hill: So so what is it that you wish to experience? So I'll, I'll share this with people that. In 2016, I was very aware of this word want and people talk about what they don't want. They talk about what they do want, but the thing with want is a lot of force with want.
Daniel Hill: And there's something that I do, which is Enneagram mentoring. And I look at that, which is it's part of coaching people and I help people to become more healthy with them that Enneagram type each Enneagram type is positives and negatives, and we can do bad behavior and we can do good behavior really, but each type is wanting something.
Daniel Hill: So we're, we're either wanting control all the time. We want security all the time, or we want love and approval. So everybody is listening to this is going to be somewhere in the middle. And somewhere within one of those three, but there's a constant state of wanting all of the time. What about wishing?
Daniel Hill: So the wishing comes from the heart. The wishing comes from the 40, 000 neurons. When we talk about wishing, we're also inviting the magic that comes from childhood with the genie and lump. And there's something that becomes. Disney esque with that. It becomes something where whatever limitation is going on, the magic genie can solve it.
Daniel Hill: It can, you know, we, we, we think about, you know, we have the lamp, you have three wishes. So there's no limitation. There's no limitation there. And the crazy thing is, is that, The only thing that's stopping you from manifesting your outcome, whatever that is, whether it's peace, health, wealth, it doesn't matter what it is, financial abundance, fantastic relationships is this, we might say it's external things, but everybody's got external things.
Daniel Hill: There's always going to be some challenge, but the reality is there's nothing that can stop you from manifesting what's deeply in your heart, because you will continue, even if it takes a while, you won't then lose heart. It might be challenging, there might be tough experiences, like Dr. J, you're talking about with your kids and thinking, Oh no, I've been so flexible with these kids.
Daniel Hill: I've done so many things, you know, what else do I have to do? Well, great. Good, good question. Maybe you've got to keep being even more flexible, but there's going to be something where it's going to be like Mary Poppins. They're gonna get in the car really quickly for whatever reason. They're also gonna evolve beyond six years old and they're gonna be a little bit easier
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: to handle as they
Daniel Hill: grow up.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yeah, there's always that as well. Exactly. Can you repeat those four again? Just list them out bullet point style.
Daniel Hill: Okay, number one, clearly decide what it is that you wish to experience.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Wish, wish, not want, wish. Number two.
Daniel Hill: Take action.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Number three,
Daniel Hill: notice, are you nearer or are you further away? Four. If you're further away, be flexible.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Mm, be flexible. What do you do? How do you interact with people that are dreamers? They're just only think about what it is they want on the first step, but they don't get to the do. How do you get the dreamers to then take action?
Daniel Hill: I don't get these as clients, but those people in life,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Again, people that are reaching out to you are already self selecting because they're running through a lot of hoops.
Daniel Hill: I think that, I think those people, I think those people find comfort in fantasy and in that kind of make believe land. Probably because they've tried to take action before. And they've experienced pain and then they've gone, you know what? I'm never going to take action again. Never going to do it. That's it.
Daniel Hill: So I'll stay in fantasy land instead.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Well, I think one thing you told me before, because in my book, I was trying to get people to take simple actions. And I was like, well, what can we do? We talked about the principle of, of, of Kaizen, right? Take one little step. Yeah. Like what's once again, so someone's trying to get healthy, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: What's one step? Let's just try tomorrow. you just to make sure what you drink is just clean, filtered, clear water. That's it. That's all you're gonna do. You can eat McDonald's, you can stay up all night, but what you're gonna drink is just clean, filtered, clear water. And if you're used to drinking beer and alcohol and soda, you're gonna feel a tremendous difference just having clean fluids going into your body.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Then you feel a little bit better, you did it, you applied it, you get a dopamine hit, and you're like, maybe tomorrow I'm gonna try to get to bed before midnight. And you apply one more thing and then the dopamine propels you to the next thing to the next thing and it's that one single step.
Daniel Hill: Yeah, this is what one small step could you take that would produce no more than a three out of ten in resistance that would help you to move towards An amazing life or without amazing life.
Daniel Hill: You put in what you wish in there instead often. I
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: love that.
Daniel Hill: So what one small step could you take that would produce no more than a three out of 10 in resistance, if it may be even less two out of 10 and resistance, maybe one out of 10 in resistance. That will help you move towards the outcome that you wish to experience.
Daniel Hill: So that way you are asking yourself a question. It's like putting that into Google. You'd come up with a whole load of responses, but imagine putting into Google. Why am I a loser? Right? Why am I a victim? Why, why am, why am I blah, blah, blah, blah. It's focused on the negative. So this way you're focused on the positive, focused on the very thing that you wish to experience.
Daniel Hill: And then you're just using your mind. Rather than have your mind use you. I still have stress. I still have anxiety in my life, but that's because I'm moving towards the very thing that I wish to experience constantly more and more. There's not huge amounts of it, but there's more as I get nearer to the reality that I wish to experience because it hasn't been my reality yet, but I have.
Daniel Hill: Changed my life so much. Like I have done with my clients over the years, and I'm used to that feeling of uncomfortability. This is something else. Also, this is an important thing. Get used to being uncomfortable slightly. If we just choose for comfort all the time, we're going to struggle. Life is this ever flowing, constantly, like the river, shifting and changing, it's always flowing, and there's, it feels uncomfortable because part of the unconscious likes familiarity, it wants to stay, it likes to stay with the unpleasant present.
Daniel Hill: It might not be completely unpleasant, but at least we'll, we'll stay in what we know because at least we're safe here. But whatever the outcome that you wish to experience, take action and move towards it.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And by the way, I love that thought. This image always comes to me right here. I'm going to just put it on screen.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: We talked about the comfort zone, pull it up here, here, right? We've talked about comfort zone, right? Here's success. Success is always just outside of your comfort zone. So the more comfortable you get
Daniel Hill: being outside
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: of that, that's where you can, that's where most of the success and that's where most of the enjoyment and the satisfaction exists right there.
Daniel Hill: Yeah.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yeah. I like that. Well, anything else, Daniel, you want to leave the listeners with?
Daniel Hill: What have I got here? I wrote something down earlier. So if you're in a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety do trigger the vagus nerve. So this is something that you can do via going into cold water immersion. If that's too much for you, cold shower, getting in a bathtub full of cold water.
Daniel Hill: You can just cold water on your face. So you could literally just put cold water and just splash it, splash it, splash it. There's also a bag of frozen peas. And if you put it here, Just about here. Yeah. Vagus nerve than Vaga. Dunno if you bring up the vagus nerve or a picture of the vagus nerve or something.
Daniel Hill: But yeah, it, it, so it goes sort of, it goes, sort of here, goes all the way down sort of the side of here. But if you get a bag of peas or get an an ice pack, just put it here. After about 10 or 15 minutes, you're triggering the parasympathetic. You'll just have sort of waves of relaxation come in.
Daniel Hill: It's something that can be beneficial. If you're going through lots of stress, you know, lots of anxiety it will promote a sense of healing in there.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yeah, so you can see out of the gate vagus nerve, It starts at the brainstem right here. Number 10 cranial nerve right here. And the vagus nerve, literally vagus means the wanderer.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: So you can see it wanders throughout the body. So you go to the heart. So you can see in that heart area, you're going to have a lot of inputs of that ice, ice bag right in this area. And you can see lungs. So you have the lungs here, the heart. Right over in here. So just getting it there, the intestinal track, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: For digestion. So it goes throughout the intestines, kidneys, bladder, the genital area, reproductive organs, et cetera. So you can see just starts all the way at the top of the brainstem, probably right back here and works all the way down. And the parasympathetic
Daniel Hill: innervation
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: is very important for rest, digest, and recover.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: So yes, you talked about cold, I love cold. I started every day for the last decade with a cold shower. I kind of, I kind of go back and forth for like five or 10 seconds. And so it's front of the body. spine. Then I go across the shoulders
Daniel Hill: just a little bit.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I go across the shoulders for about five or 10 seconds.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And then I put my face up and I drink the water as it hits me. And then I stayed till I just start to get a brain freeze and I turn my water off. And that's like, that's all right. That's my saturation point. But yeah, it feels quite amazing.
Daniel Hill: Yeah, I've been doing it for quite a while now as well. And it's it's just a great experience.
Daniel Hill: And you get waves of relaxation and you get a buffer zone to be able to deal with stress throughout the day.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yes. And, and there's something to be said for, you know, being uncomfortable and that's the hard part with kids, right? Especially if you're a parent, you know, every parent wants to do better than their parents.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: And as you get more successful, you have more comforts in your life. I mean, just think about, yeah. Air conditioning and on demand movies, just think about 50, 60 years ago, there was no air conditioning, like there was no TV, there was no movies, like maybe a hundred years ago, no car, right? It's like, think about how much more comforts you have and your kids get to be.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: the benefactor of that. But also, you know, you want to create a little discomfort cause that's adversity and adversity builds character. So it's good to have that the cold stuff. I'll have my kids do some cold showers just to get them a little bit uncomfortable. It's good.
Daniel Hill: Yeah. I think we live in a modern world that does it's a consumerism world.
Daniel Hill: Where, you know, you can have anything that you want. It's that word want, you know, what do you want? What do you want? Just, you know, I want to feel good. All right. You can have this and have that, you know, if your relationship's no good, you can just swipe to the left or swipe to the right. Right. Exactly. It, you know, as opposed to, you know, a lot of marriages will go through stress and challenges and like all relationships, you've got to work through it.
Daniel Hill: So it's, it's too easy just to go, Oh, I don't, I don't want this discomfort. How do I, how do I get rid of it? But actually there's a lot to be said for like, you were saying all that stuff. My mom, like tells me when I was a little girl and growing up sort of like, you know we, we, we woke up and we could see our breath in the winter.
Daniel Hill: Yeah. It would like be there. You know, the challenge is some, I said to my grandson of like, when you were pregnant, like, Who had the phone, like, was there a phone? She goes, oh, there was a, there was one phone in the street. How did people cope? It's amazing.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Well, happiness is not a steady state. It's not like, hey, I'm here, right?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Here on the happiness chart, and I'm staying there. Happiness is the general trend line. You're gonna go up, you're gonna go down, up and down. Ideally, that trend is this way, but there's gonna be some downs that propel you to the new up, and you gotta be okay not being there all the time. It's okay, that's life.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Part
Daniel Hill: of part of the component of happiness is actually satisfaction and we only get this feeling of satisfaction where we get good feelings of well being from doing things that are hard anything that you've done that's challenging and hard. Guess what your brain, you get free drugs at the end of it because your brain is like little going pretty happy with myself for doing that, whether it is a cold shower, whether it is going to the gym, whether it is, whatever it is, whatever the challenge is.
Daniel Hill: If you're just seeking pleasure, which is another component of happiness, you're going to struggle. That's where a lot of people struggle because the comfort is in pleasure. I need to go keep going to pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. No, well, actually happiness is also a bearing in uncomfortability.
Daniel Hill: So that's the other side of. Pleasure. So it's, you're not getting a dopamine hit right away, but you'll get one after because you've done something that's hard. It's about
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: gratification. Delay gratification,
Daniel Hill: gratification. Absolutely. Yeah. Right. Remember reading that in the road, less traveled by him.
Daniel Hill: Scott, a long time ago,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: and we could go think back to the marshmallow study where they. Give a kid a marshmallow. They said, Hey, you wait 10 minutes. We're going to give you a second marshmallow. They went back behind the glass and they watched the kids and they said, you know, you're, you see them cause they're talking out loud.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: They're like, Oh, I really want this marshmallow. I really, really, really want it. But if I wait 10 minutes, I get a second one. And they're thinking and they're talking out loud and some would eat it. Someone to wait 10 minutes to get the second one and eat both. And they kind of looked at kids 10, 20 years later and looked at their level of success and what they achieved in your, in their life financially.
Daniel Hill: Interesting. And
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: they, and they saw the level of success was greater with the kids that waited. And so there's a delay gratification component in life as well that allows success to manifest because you, you got to delay gratification.
Daniel Hill: And it's success in all things. I mean, you know, emotional, physical, mental, emotional.
Daniel Hill: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yeah. You measure it in all ways,
Daniel Hill: but it's about growth as well. It's like, I mean, I look at nature, nature doesn't do this. Nature, nature does things incrementally. It does things. It, it, what did I get the other day where it was this There's growth and vulnerability when we're vulnerable is, is that, is that painful?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Yeah.
Daniel Hill: Is it pain? Growth is painful. We talk about it. Don't we talk about growing pains? Okay. Can be yet. True. It's not all the time, but there's, there's a lot to be said for going to the uncomfortable place of becoming vulnerable. If you do that in relationships, your relationships will grow. If you just stay with what you know, And you don't allow yourself to be comfortable.
Daniel Hill: You're not going to grow as much as what you could do, which is dropping into your heart and going, okay, right. What do we, it's
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: impossible. It's impossible to get stronger without having a little soreness in between workouts, right? It's impossible. There's going to be that little bit of down. So I think it's so important to, to kind of realize we have that physical soreness where we have that mentally and emotionally and spiritually as well.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: So I think that's so important, Daniel.
Daniel Hill: It's very true. Well,
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: anything else you want to leave the listeners with? I mean, I'll put your link down below here, guys. If you want to reach out to Daniel, his site and link to schedule a consult with him will be down below in the link below. Anything else, Daniel, you want to leave the listeners with?
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Put any,
Daniel Hill: anybody's listening, put any questions that you've got in the videos and I might visit back and and answer any questions. You have a YouTube channel as well. Daniel Hill Coaching My YouTube channel is Daniel Hill Coaching. I'm on TikTok. I'm on Instagram, and you can find about a thousand videos I think I've uploaded over the years.
Daniel Hill: Dr. Justin
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Marchegiani And we'll put the link to your website. Imagine on your site, they'll probably be able to link to all those places from your website, and there'll be a link to schedule a call worldwide. All right, Daniel. Awesome chatting with you. Let's do it again soon. Daniel
Daniel Hill: Hill Coaching And you, Dr.
Daniel Hill: J. All the best. Dr. Justin
Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Marchegiani All right. Take care. Bye now.
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